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Pt. 4: Fatherland
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Monday, 27 August 2007
A few hours later, I was woken by Robin’s alarm. It was time to get up and try to figure out a way to get my bass fixed.

Some Google searching and a couple calls to some shops, and I was on my way to get my bass looked at and hopefully fixed. The first shop that we hit actually could fix it and rigged my bass with a little gold bling in the form of a tuning peg and I was off to Denmark. We arrived at the squat that we were playing a few hours later. All of us were starving and had missed breakfast and lunch, as per usual on tour. We loaded in, waited for dinner, and discussed what sort of meal we would get. Food not bombs was meeting at the venue so we were assuming the worse. I knew it would be TVP something. Sure enough it was. As we were all consuming the meal, we were betting how severe the aftermath would be. Sure enough, moments later we found ourselves on in the backstage battlefield of farts. Of course Jeroen was topping it off. But Otto seemed to take a close second. Actually now that I think about it, Otto has a nasty butt. Anyhow, it wasn’t fun. The venue was tiny and could not hold many people. Shortly after dinner Otto took the stage. He was great, really funny and entertaining. People seemed to dig it for as awkward as it was. We played right after, and the set was lacking energy. The audience was awkward and we were all crammed on the stage just trying to get it over with. There was this older Columbian guy, who was small and very vocal, even though we all had no idea what he was saying aside from the occasional “California” or “One, Two….” as he was playing air guitar on a beer bottle and doing these odd lunging stretches on the dance floor. Occasionally he would sit on the stage and turn around and yell some shit at one off us while pointing at each of us as if he had some sort of demand. The show ended quickly, we mingled and I fell asleep almost right away. I woke up with my shoes and clothes on in one of the bunks in the backstage room. We loaded up the gear and left for Hamburg.

The drive to Hamburg was grim. We didn’t eat in the morning. When there is catering in a lot of places in mainland Europe, its usually bread and spread. Maybe it’s just me, but when I wake up, I don’t want a hard piece of bread with hummus and cucumber on it. So we drive straight to Hamburg. The first stop was this vegetarian restaurant where I ordered a vegan cheeseburger. Apparently the “vegan Cheese burger” as it was listed on the menu was a burger with no cheese. Anyhow, we scarfed down the food, Robin picked up my tab for a late birthday meal, and went straight to the venue. Passing by familiar monuments such as the squat that The Locust played the very first time we played in Hamburg. I have fond memories of that place. We had driven all night to get to that venue when we played there years ago. We arrived just before the sun came up and fell asleep in the van, which was parked in the dirt “parking lot” just alongside the building. We woke up to some sketchy junkie peering in the van at us. As we all were alerted and waking up, we looked around at a dozen or so sketchy cats, smoking hash, shooting junk, spray painting, and well, just being sketchy. I was surprised we had slept there through that and that nothing had happened to the van. But I suppose that we looked as sketchy to them as they did to us. And creeps can sense fear so us all asleep like we were in the van had no signs of fear. Anyhow, we arrived at the club that we were playing here in present day tour. It was what appeared to be a squat as well, but also some sort of storefront or something. The building was huge and had lots of painted over windows. We started to load in and get on with sound check. Just after sound check some of us sat down for dinner. I sat across from Otto as a rat ran past his feel on the floor. We finished out meals and went to the backstage where we met Aux Raus, the support band that we had for the next few nights. Their sound check was great and we were glad that we didn’t have a dud on tour with us. The only downside to this was that Otto was leaving for Belgium for a week or so and then joining up again for a few more shows later. The show started and the new openers were great, with lot of energy and were pretty original. Soon after, we took the stage. Again, I was so sleepy and felt that I would fuck up a lot in the set. But we were all pretty in sync for whatever reason. It seemed like a no brainer, textbook, you could say. The crown was great and had a lot of energy as well. The only downfall to them was the amount of people smoking. I could feel my allergies taking off as soon as I got on stage. I feared that Bronchitis was only a few days away now. Allysia has sent me some Coast to Coast pod casts about the power on positive thinking where people would get rid of cancer and crazy shit by thinking it away. The info was a bit goofy but over all it made sense and I just need to think about it and try to avoid the shit that comes my way. I mean, with Alopecia, getting Bronchitis would only mean more chunks of hair would fall out. As we played the sweat was dripping down my legs under the fur. I could feel my socks soaking in sweat. The set ended and I quickly made my way off the stage. Just as I put my bass down and started to walk off some sort of bug flew into my mouth. I could not see well as the lights on stage were dimmed and I had my mask on. I stumbled over some of Joey’s gear, and then into the backstage room. I tore my mask off and puked up the bug and my dinner. Another sign of the luck I have. After I changed and walked out of the backstage to put my gear away I ran into an old friend of ours, Eike. We met her years ago when she was dating this guy who sang in a band who was playing with us. I had not seen her for years since she had started tour-managing bands and anytime we were in Hamburg, she was on tour. So it was good to see her and to catch up. I got an interesting perspective on her touring with bands and how the entire music industry is so odd now days. I also had the opportunity to talk to this interesting fellow named Oliver. He plays in a band with a friend of mine there in Hamburg. We got to talk about music, technical ability, aesthetic, instrumentation, and so on. He pointed out something interesting, how the description on The Locust on the poster for the show said something about the music being “chaotic” and compared us to a couple bands that I could care less about and don’t think that we sound anything like. The “chaotic” description was in fact the complete opposite of what we do. See, what Oliver was saying was that nothing is chaotic about the music as its rehearsed to the point where we have little to no flaws, all in sync with one another, creating on thing, and with as much precision as we can muster up. We also touched upon the subjects of consistency, improvisation, and music theory.

It was cool to talk to both Eike and Oliver, but as the night went on, I felt myself starting to fall asleep in the middle of conversations so I had to make my way to the venues “band apartment”. I was the only one who didn’t go out to another bar and just fell asleep to try to recuperate from whatever it was that was exhausting me. I quickly fell asleep wishing that the showers in the “apartment” were a bit more welcoming as far as hygiene was concerned. I coped with the dandruff, the sticky and saltiness feeling and fell deep in sleep on the bed with my laundry bag, which I had just washed, lay over the pillow. I was expecting to be woken by a drunken mess delivered by the rest of the bunch and sure enough, I was. The quickness of oddity was in full effect. Moments after the door burst open, there was Gabe laying two beds over puking into a trashcan, Jeroen’s booming voice in the room, and everyone scrambling for sleeping spaces. I watched Joey fall onto a couch just in front of my bed as I feel back to sleep. When I woke up, I realized that Joey had somehow made his way to a bed with one of the Aux Raus guys and was laying head to toe with him. When I walked by him on my way to brush my teeth, he shot up in confusion and went back to the couch. I pieced the night together hearing a couple stories being discussed by everyone. Something about drugs, getting lost, and a few uninteresting details were told by some. I was glad that I decided to sleep and pass on the antics of the previous hours. Shortly after, we loaded up the gear, and made our way tot a health food store a couple blocks from the squat. We all loaded up on food and got on the road, only hours away from the “Fatherland” as Jeroen calls it.

We arrived in Groningen, Holland. The drive was quick and swift. A coupe of hours seemed like nothing compared to the usual six to eight that we had been doing the last few days. We got to the venue, which was a place that we played years ago when we toured with Das Oath. The venue had a great set up. There were sleeping arrangements located in the venue for bands. The rooms were color coordinated. I got the light blue. We did sound check, set up the stage with the stagehands that did a great job. The banner and lighting looked great. Shortly after we had dinner, which was one of the best meals so far. Indian food is always top notch in Europe. It seemed that we were about to shake the curse of Tartex. Not that Tartex is the devils dick or anything, but I can be rough at times. I mean eating veggie pate out of a tube and sometimes out of a can is odd, especially since it sort of smells like cat food. So my stuffed self made way around the city for a little bit. Walked into some shops, looked at a fair of some sort equipped with rides and games then headed back to the venue. Showtime rolled around and things were on their way. When we got on stage the crowd seemed unenthused. We stood there before the set started talking a little, laughing at random things from earlier in the day. Someone even farted on stage and I chuckled. The set started and shortly after, ended. The crown was boring and made for a boring show, in my opinion. I choose to take a shower right after we played, as it had been a few days since I had done so. Plus I wanted to avoid some of the crowd that had some odd things to talk about; more crap related to Jerry Springer, weird Dutch candy that I would not touch, and some other random things that were of no interest to me. Shortly after I feel asleep.

In the morning when we woke up I looked outside my room at the gloomy weather. It was damp and resembled early morning San Diego. We headed over to where the catering was and had breakfast. The previous meal had got my hops up and I figured we would have something equal or greater to the night before. I was mistaken; bread and spread was what it was. I’m always at a loss with bread and Tartex for breakfast. Anyhow, I did what I had to and we started to load the gear, which seems to take forever no matter what time it is. An hour or so later, we were off, headed back to Germany. I really like Holland. Oh well, bye for now.

Comments (1)add comment
lowcussfan: great
thanks for posting. JP is a fascinating writer.
1

August 30, 2007

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