Usually when we are playing somewhere cool, it’s straight to the venue and straight out of the city after the show. We managed to get some time to walk around the area of Stockholm called Old Town, looking in shops and checking out the city architecture. Most of the cobble stone sidewalks and tight alleyways seemed to bring us to an abundance of Viking items that one could purchase in the shops. Not sure what sort of person would buy a chain mesh vest or a metal helmet but it was still interesting to see. I even saw a statue in a quad that was of a man on a horse wielding a sword at a dragon. At the base of the statue were human heads and skulls. Not something that you see very often. If only all statues could be as cool as that. Kind of beats seeing the typical one of a guy posed on a horse, with no sword and no dragon. The exploring time went by fast and we were off to the venue, just in time for the same ol’ thing. However the show was a lot of fun despite the technical difficulties that half of the band had. I was glad that I was not that half, but its still a drag and puts part of the band into one of those moods. But I managed to see some friends and hang out a bit with them. Ina, whom I became with over the years, saved my life the last time The Locust was there. I had become ill and got bronchitis as well as ammonia. She aided me with her country’s socialized medicine and sent me on my way. I seriously would have ended up in a hospital if it weren’t for her. So it was and is always great to see her. Also, our friend Mona’s band opened for us. They are really cool people and seemed to enjoy themselves. The band, Fuck With Eyes, covered a Crimson Cover, which was good, and I felt honored that someone would actually want to do such a thing. Mona keeps asking for me to sing with them when we play together again in a few days. Not sure if I can do that. It might be a bit awkward. But we shall see. We also met up with a support act that we are taking with us for a chunk of tour, Otto Von Schirach, a fellow Ipecac artist. We lucked out, as he is a cool guy and an interesting artist. It would have been a drag to have some jack off on tour with us. After the show ended, the venue turned into a dance club as it always does when I play there. This time was a far cry from the last time I was there. I managed to say a few goodbyes and split to the hotel. Still feeling a combination of jetlag and odd sleeping hours. Just before I entered the hotel I figured out that there was a burger stand literally right next to the hotel and grabbed a veggie burger and then crawled into bed.

Oslo, Norway was the next stop and we had an early departure from Stockholm. So the 3 hours sleep that I managed to get didn’t hold up. As a matter a fact, I’m having trouble staying awake as I write this. I’d be asleep but I'm not about to lie down on this nasty couch at the venue here. The drive to Oslo didn’t seem that bad. We watched one of the many bad DVD’s of Jeroen’s in the van, Cast Away featuring Ton Hanks. Eh, not a bad story but there were too many cheesy parts to get a two thumbs up from me. I later got carsick from a combination of the windy roads and Jeroen’s driving. Getting into the city is always great. Again, the overwhelming gene pool here in conjunction with the Architecture puts Oslo in my top favorite places to tour. It’s usually a great time in Oslo as well. Lots of friends here seem to make for a good time. The JR Ewing people as well as some other artists and company all are good to see. So we fixed some of the technical issues that we had from the previous night at sound check and some of us grabbed some Vietnamese food. Thumbs down on the food and then I ended up back at the venue. The show was a pretty typical show. Just before our set I fell asleep and of course I missed Otto’s performance, again. We blazed through the set, Joey had ample equipment problems, nobody noticed and it was over before we knew it. There were really nice people there. Talked to another independent label owner, and we tried to figure out what the hell we were doing. Met some photographer who had shot Some Girls when we were there last and of course hung out with the JR Ewing guys. The venue turned into a dance club after the show was over so I made my way back to the hotel as I was still trying to kick this damn jetlag. I had to hash out some work on my computer and got to see an Oslo sunrise. The view in the hotel was amazing. I feel asleep just after the sun came up.

The following day was a day off in Oslo. It was odd being that it was a Saturday, another confusing aspect to the Agency group’s booking tactics. Just as we were leaving the hotel to get, ironically enough, Mexican food, we ran into the Hard-On’s who I had met and become friends with in Australia when Some Girls were there. That was nice to run into them and they were also playing at the venue that we played the night before so I was going to be able to hang out with them and catch their set. Lunch was surprisingly good. I had very low expectations for Norwegian Mexican food, but it was not that bad. We then took a journey to this posh area of Oslo to visit a Viking museum. It was impressive, seeing these huge ships that they traveled on as well as learning about their ways of life. We then walked to another museum and I ate wild apples on my way over. The fee to enter the next museum, which I actually had no idea what it was happened to be a bit expensive so we split. We drove to another area and another museum. This time it was on a mountainside and the museum was a skiing museum. There was this huge ski jump there that people can walk up and view parts of the city. The view was astounding. I started getting a migraine and was so tired from the lack of sleep that had been getting. There were two things in the museum that stood out and were impressive. The first was this taxidermy moose. The part about the display was that there was actually moose poop in the scene. There you had this pretty large moose standing on a bed of fake snow in front of a one-dimensional background. Then just behind and below the animal was a group of little droppings. To me, it just seemed too strange and amusing to have that as part of the display. The next aspect of the museum that impressed me was a simple painting. However the content of this image were Vikings skiing. I had no idea that the two subjects would tie into each other. But here you had two Vikings cruising down a mountain in the snow on skis. Both Vikings had weapons such as bloody battle-axes, a sword, and shields. In the image, apparently, they stole a baby and one Viking had this small child tucked under a shield as they were speeding down the mountain. I picked up a T-shirt for my mom, as she likes shirts from places that I have toured to. I figured a shirt with a Viking ship would be suffice for her, even though the Vikings were obviously on the misogynistic side of humanity, I'm sure she would like the one that I picked out for her. We passed by a church that the guys from Burzum burned down when we headed back to the city center. We later made our way to grab some dinner at this amazing Persian restaurant. Got stuffed and had bad breath and then headed to the venue. I talked a bit with the Hard-On’s and then hit the sack.

In the morning when we were just about to head out to Linkoping, and were greeted with some poor excuse for graffiti on the passenger side of the van as well as the front. So that was a drag to view so early in the AM. We jumped in the van and were off, still smelling the burning smell from the drive down the mountain after the museums. We can’t put a finger on it, but it seemed to be the transmission or something burning and well, the toxic smell is still lingering twelve or so hours later. I wondered who would puke first. We eventually arrived at the venue puke free. This town is a drag. Well it seems to be a drag every time I have played there. It’s the same grim venue that I have played with The Locust before from what Joey says even though I can’t remember what the hell he is talking about, as well as Some Girls. So there is nothing to report on the show. I mean, it was boring, the crowd, our set, everything. I was told after the show that some people drove seven hundred miles to see the show. I felt bad about that fact, but what was done was done. I have had serious back problems all day, either from the bed that I slept on or carrying equipment. But I could not wait to get out of there and be horizontal. Our friend Katrin came to the show and I felt bad that I could not hang out with her, but I was in no position to socialize. The high point of the show was sound check when Jeroen jumped on stage for the finally of our sound check to jam out with us, creating Crazy J and the Cocaine Buffet. It’s along the lines of Totally Grounded what some of The Locust and Cattle Decapitation did on the last U.S. tour. I eventually arrived at the hotel and realized that it was my birthday, technically.

Tomorrow we are off to Malmo, to play a festival. I heard that Testament, Mayhem, and the Dwarves are playing. I wonder who else will be playing. Could be interesting and I'm sure better than some of the garbage that we get paired up with on tour. Goodnight. JP

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